every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
