Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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