so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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