Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
