Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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