East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Randomize
