Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He better not be in your backpack
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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