So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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