Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
