Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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