Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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