genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
