puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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