Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
