we have pet lesbian snakes
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
