i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
