I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
