no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
