Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
