ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
