Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
