Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
