You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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