So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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