i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
