Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
