i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
