I CAN MOONWALK!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
