you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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