she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
as a side note pls kill me
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