i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm at about main and main street
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Randomize
