sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
