...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
