Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
