I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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