Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
