i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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