the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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