ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
