Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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