Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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