your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
All I want is dick and wine.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
