i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
