it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
