So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
