He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
