u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I understand Curling. That high.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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