Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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