i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
