Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
